The Letter That Was Never Sent….

Below is a copy of the letter that I never sent to Starbucks Guy for the reasons that seemed very obvious to me. The last letter I sent him was ignored and probably deleted, when I question him about it I was told it was never received. Really, the lies that goes on in the open and when questioned about, denies it to the extreme. So, you see that’s the reason this letter was never sent.

Dear Starbucks Guy,

Ei you… How are you? I’ve been missing you, you know? I hope you’re doing great, better than I’ll probably ever be for now.

So, what really went wrong between us? I can only say my side of the coin. I would’ve wanted to know your side of the story but you never really gave me the chance to do that. That was the reason why I wanted to talk about us but each time I try, you always refuse.

You always tell me you have no problem with me and yet you ignore me, you refuse to communicate with me and most of all you always find every reason to dodge me. Me talking all the time was not me nagging at you, it was me letting you know what I feel and I thought being in a relationship with you, you would’ve cared. If you only had given the chance to pause for a while, keep an open mind and hear me out, there wouldn’t be any problem. You didn’t necessarily have to always agree with me but there is a better way letting me know that. We didn’t have to yell and scream at each other like some bratty teenagers but it would rather be better if we could’ve talked to each other like mature adults resolving an issue. What a waste really, coz what I had for you was real. It was so real I thought you found it real as well.

I have always given my best to you coz I believe that love is never an option, it was a choice. I chose to love you and I stood by you and I never gave up on “us”. You gave up on “us”. Every time I asked you if “we” were ok, you always answered me, “I am ok.” It was always about you. You never made me a part of you. And I was always thinking about “us” thinking of ways how to spend time together, how to make you feel my love, thinking whether you are going through anything stressful or if there was anything bothering you.

I know I’ve had my share of faults in this relationship which I deeply regret. I just wished you never gave up on us coz we could’ve been through this. We would’ve survived this. We could’ve stayed longer. We would’ve been happy. If only you also tried along with me. I tried and I tried so hard and all you gave me was “I’m tired of all this! Stop calling me already!” I did my best to adjust to you, to who you are but did you ever try to adjust with who I am? That’s why I always asked you where I should stand. But I guess all these are worth nothing now coz you’ve decided to leave. You gave up on us. But for what its worth… im sorry…. And rest assured I’m grateful to have had you….

Love,
Chelle…

~ by somebody003 on March 17, 2009.