Starbucks and the Guy…
I revisited the place where we first met, the far corner of my favorite coffee spot (My idea) and as I write this at the very spot where I first glanced at him, my heart is filled with bitter and yet happy memories. It was at this place sometime somewhere mid October of 2008 that I had finally decided to open my heart once more. It was a very hard decision on my part as it took some time for my wounded heart to heal, someone had once broken it to its very core and I took some hard serious time to repair the damage. By the time the Guy finally entered my life, I thought I was ready. Little did I know, my poor little heart was in a lot of trauma.
The very minute I laid my eyes on the Guy, i knew I was going to like him. He was intellectually stimulating in areas I was never knowledgeable at, like politics and economy and the likes. I still felt the same intense nervousness as I sat on the very spot I sat the day we met and I imagined him sitting in front of me. My chest tightened at the mere thought of the memory of drowning myself with his voice.
Starbucks will never be the same for me, every corner, every table will have his memory. Where did the Guy go? Beats me. But I missed him terribly. I miss the way he makes me laugh with his childish ways, I miss the way he took me away when everything in my house was chaotic, I miss the way he cared, I miss the way he would always call to check in on me, I miss the way he says he misses me, I miss the way he calls me “baby”, I miss the way he says “I love you” but most of all, I miss the Guy terribly.
I dont know what went wrong, probably I turned him off. But why did he decide to go when I have finally opened up my heart to him and allowed him to be the one to hold it, to own it and to occupy it? My mind is in a state of confusion right now. I dont even know if he cares or rather cared, all I know is that my heart is shattered once again…
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